I’ve been keeping everyone abreast (hardy har!) of my chicken loves on my FB My Chicken Fetish page… But, I didn’t feel like this was for public consumption… the decision to ax a rooster.

Why? Well, this sweet guy, “Red,” loved to crow at 4am. Not 5am, which is completely tolerable by a chicken lover… at 4am! And he was LOUD! So of the three, (Patriot, Casey, and Red) he had to go. It was sad. I’ve axed enough roosters to know it’s not pretty. So I checked out “killing cones” and fashioned my own:  I asked Gertie to model it. Her interpretation is as the Statue of Liberty. I laughed and laughed. Then my eldest said: Maybe the “Satire of Liberty!” I’ve got cool kids, y’all.

This is two of those cheap pliable plastic cutting boards, well used. I put them together with a regular boring office stapler. Nothing fancy.

I used a hammer and some big staple type things I found in my hubby’s work bench, and hammered, unceremoniously (kind of hard to do, and I looked like a dyslexic flamingo while trying) to the stump in the back yard, making sure I couldn’t see it from my back door.

Then comes the gutting part. (Hardy har again!) We had to catch Red, and slit his jugular in the most humane killing, since we loved him so much. It was awful.

The opening at the bottom was just a teensy bit snug, for such a large roo, but it worked.

(Praise the Lord for sons!)

Jake held his beak steady, and did the honors.

And that was that. Sigh.

Way easier than the hacking of an axe, and the flailing around of a headless chicken, not to mention the blood spray. So, I recommend it. Just check your measurements. Red was very happy and comfy, right before the last picture. I will say this – cut where there’s no feathers, and be VERY sure your knife is super sharp. Sharpen it anyway.

RIP, Big Red.